Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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