That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
