sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Small penises have feelings too.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
