You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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