Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
