you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
