Where did you get a picture of my penis
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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