Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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