so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Drunk is not a location!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
