I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
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i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
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Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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