just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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