You work out of a Hotel?
I puked a lego.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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