Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
