Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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