how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
