Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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