he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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