Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
