the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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