If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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