his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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