I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
