I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize