If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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