you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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