Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.