I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.