it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
