I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We were destined to go to rehab together
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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