How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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