Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
