shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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