At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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