No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize