we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
