He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
