I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
