did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize