"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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