He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
