So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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