I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
