Define "chronic" masturbator.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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