You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
