sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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