Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
