I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
