Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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