am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
