THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs