Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.