I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too