maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
