I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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