don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
