At least make sure they are 18
Why
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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