WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize