The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
