how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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