turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
