Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
