I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
