she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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