I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
